Thursday, February 25, 2010

The Five Love Languages of Children - Gary Chapman, Ph.D and Ross Campbell, M.D.

Summary: Want to know the secret to making sure your child feels loved?

Kids desperately need to know how much you love them. But if you don’t know their special “love languages” you might as well be speaking gibberish. Every child (like every adult) expresses and receives love best through one of five communication styles. Find out which one of these your child speaks:

QUALITY TIME, WORDS OF AFFIRMATION, GIFTS, ACTS OF SERVICE, PHYSICAL TOUCH

If your love language is different from your children’s, you’d better learn to translate—fast. Or you could miss your chance to meet their deepest emotional needs. Discover how to express unconditional feelings of respect, affection and commitment that will resonate in their souls— and inspire them for the rest of their lives. (Summary from amazon.com - image from coverbrowser.com)

My Review: I personally liked the first book Gary Chapman wrote, The Five Love Languages, better than this book. It just seemed to read faster and more enjoyably. Maybe I'd feel differently if I'd read this one first; then this opinion would be reversed and apply to the first book.

Just like the The Five Love Languages, this book gives explanations for the five different love languages with real life examples. Then he moves into case studies and more detailed explanations of how to apply these to your individual experiences, your child(ren).

The difference I noticed was that this book seemed to have more parenting opinions thrown in. While I agreed with much of his advice, I'm not sure that's what this book should be proffering. Unless it specifically related to how to express love in the five different ways, it didn't quite sit right with me to give advice outside of that. Conversely, it is written by a Ph.D. and an M.D. Those are just some of my thoughts while reading. It obviously distracted me enough while reading to mention it. Take it or leave it.

That said, I felt all the advice on how to show your children you love them, in as many of the love languages as possible, was great. It does say that you cannot determine your child's love language until he or she is 5 years old, making my reading a bit premature. I will at least be prepared to look for signs indicating which language to focus on when the time comes. I'd definitely give this book a read regardless of your child's age because it may defuse many volatile reactions that seem unavoidable with parenting. Many rough years where children act up are their way of communicating their need for your love.

My Rating: 4.5 Stars

Sum it up: A mix of parenting advice and information on how children (really, humans in general) feel love.

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