Saturday, July 3, 2010

Nightlight : A Parody - The Harvard Lampoon

Summary: About three things I was absolutely certain.

First, Edward was most likely my soul mate, maybe.

Second, there was a vampire part of him--which I assumed was wildly out of his control--that wanted me dead.

And third, I unconditionally, irrevocably, and impenetrably, heterogeneously, gynecologically, and disreputably wished he had kissed me.


And thus Belle Goose falls in love with the mysterious and sparkly Edwart Mullen in the Harvard Lampoon's hilarious send-up.

Pale and klutzy, Belle, arrives in Switchblade, Oregon, looking for adventure, or at least an undead classmate. She soon discovers Edwart, a super-hot computer nerd with zero interest in girls. After witnessing a number of strange events--Edwart leaves his Tator Tots untouched at lunch! Edwart saves her from a flying snowball!--Belle has a dramatic revelation: Edwart is a vampire. But how can she convince Edwart to bite her and transform her into his eternal bride, especially when he seems to find girls so repulsive?

Complete with romance, danger, insufficient parental guardianship, creepy stalker like behavior, and a vampire prom, Nightlight is the uproarious tale of a vampire-obsessed girl, looking for love in all the wrong places. (Summary from book - Image from io9.com - Book from a friend)

My Review: If you are one of the many people that hate all things Twilight, then you might want to throw a little party to celebrate the merciless laceration of Meyer's first book at the hands of the Harvard Lampoon. Instead of star-crossed lovers Bella Swan and Edward Cullen, Nightlight is about Belle Goose, a certifiably insane girl that just thinks every guy wants her, and Edwart Mullen, a pasty-white, germophobic computer geek hopped up on anti-anxiety meds.

Reading Nightlight was like trying to keep up with the mind (and body) of a toddler--it was constantly shifting from one thing to another and back again with zero warning. Every paragraph was filled with the crazy, random, and absurd. The parts I liked best were when the writers blatantly ridiculed the movie or the book – like mocking Meyer’s use of blank pages to convey emptiness, or Edwart and Belle staring at each other for five hours in a picturesque meadow. They even went so far as to take some lines directly from the movie or book and set them in strange context (ie. “AS IF YOU COULD OUT RUN ME!”). Let’s admit it. That part in the movie was pretty darn lame and Harvard Lampoon mocked it to the fullest extent and with my admiration.

My biggest disappointment was the ommision of a central character (several, actually, but one in particular) – Jacob. There were a few remarks about werewolves and one reference to a “Team Jacob”, but no character that was supposed to mock the teenage mutant ninja werewolf that is Jacob Black. I mean, what, because he’s Native American, the Harvard Lampoon is too afraid to poke fun? What a bunch of wusses.

Other than some clever and humorous moments, Nightlight was nothing worth waiting in long lines for, unless it's your life's ambition to make fun of all things Twilight. If so, Harvard Lampoon beat you to it. Time to find a new dream.

My Rating: 2.9 Stars. A "3" just didn't feel right. Other people have loved it, so I suggest you gauge your tolerance for the randomly absurd and go from there. For the sensitive reader: If you still want to read it, go ahead. I think there was only one swear word in the entire book (of the OMG variety).

Sum it up: Twilight meets The Twilight Zone – if The Twilight Zone were less creepy and suffering from a severe case of ADHD.

2 comments:

Mariam Maarouf said...

Well, I can't express the impression I had from the summary in plain words. Let's just say I looked a bit like this: -.-
And then I read your review and my doubts about the content of the book were confirmed (you were right, Mindy! Blurbs must show the real content :D)
I think I wouldn't have given it one star, and it doesn't have to do with the fact that I liked the Twilight saga. Mocking other people's work for the sake of it is just plain absurd, as you put it.

Pearls and Pumps said...

I started reading this and couldn't even get half way into it. It was the most ridiculous book I've (not) read. I was hoping to laugh my head off, but instead it gave me a headache. But I'm happy to add it to my Twilight collection, I must say.

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